3+ years ago, I worked like mad all day bcos of my first ever event which I was so stressed about. It was like a perfect time for me to be such a workaholic, to keep myself so so busy, so that my emotions and feelings were kept at bay, to the point that I am so so exhausted, and that I do not have time to feel any feelings, to feel numb with all the issues.
About 2.5 years ago, someone I met reminded me that the things done to me was unacceptable actually, but they were not the worst situation yet. I was reminded constantly, to take care of myself and to eat. At that point in time, all I want was solitude, to be all alone with no one, to just keep walking, aimlessly, till I felt so so numb and tired. It was like a perfect time for me to slim down quite abit without doing much.
About 2 years ago, I was mad over the way the issues were treated all of a sudden, and over the way I was treated with no respect at all. It was hell, with months of battle, till I am so so disappointed, sick and tired of all the issues, and that I have lost faith with everything in life. It was like a perfect time for me to see the personality really clearly.
About 1.5 years ago, someone I met influenced me positively. Happiness was what I felt at that point in time. It was so so amazing that I am able to feel so so happy when I am totally lost, numb, with everything in life. It was like a perfect time for me to know what happiness is, to help pull my life up. It was such an amazing journey, although short.
About 1 year ago, I was so so angry with all the things that had happened to me. It was a year of crisis, issues, and a year of meeting lots of different people, and in the process, some of them really make me question myself, questioning if it was something wrong with me, thinking about who I really am, what I really want. It was like a perfect time for me to find the courage and strength within me, to learn more about myself, and to be independent.
About 3 months ago, I realised that I had realised lots of things all of a sudden, like a flash of thoughts that struck my mind, just like that. Perhaps, I matured and grow wiser through all these experiences. It was like a perfect time for me to really reflect on everything that had happened to me, and come to terms with it, knowing that, peace of mind was what I really needed.
Now, I have realised alot of things, learned much about myself, found courage to be independent, and I gotta learn to fly, on my own. It is like a perfect time for me to learn not to be so workaholic, practice self love.
When things gets hard, I grow a little stronger and I grow a little braver now. When things gets dark, I grow a little brighter and I grow a little wiser now. Before I gave my heart away.
